The New Brew

Posted: August 27, 2010 in copywriting

When I was a nipper my dad used to have strange white globes in the garage and airing cupboards. Murky liquids with sickly sweet smells would occasionally bubble up through twisted glass valves, elsewhere in the house corked bottles were piled up and would sometimes pop disgorging rancid fruit and vegetable experiments all over the floor and making the whole house hum.

Welcome to the exciting world of home-brew 1970’s style!

My father thought himself to be something akin to the living embodiment of The Good Life. He was Tom to my mother’s Barbara, I’m not sure where my brother and I fitted in but I digress; we lived in a house where things were repaired, reused or convoluted functions were found for any odd or end rather than throw it away. We grew vegetables and even kept a few goats. The smell of goat still brings a shiver to my soul even now.

As well as growing things my dad loved to make his own beer. To me he seemed like an alchemist in wellington boots while he laboured over malted barley and hops or experiments with using bars of chocolate as a sweetener. It doesn’t work, don’t try it.

Well, I was thinking back to that time when the price of beer went up yet again recently and seems set to rise yet again very soon. Perhaps my old man had the right idea, make enormous quantities of your own ale and beat the tax-man! I didn’t remember it looking like a particularly difficult process, so long as you had the time to monitor temperatures, watched out for dangerous pressures, running the risk of the whole thing turning to vingar for no known reason, didn’t mind airing cupboards being over-run with fermenting demijohns and the occasional explosion in the middle of the night.

Well, I was starting to go off the idea again when I found what I think is the twenty-first century’s answer to all that fuss, labour and cleaning opportunities. The Beer Machine Brew Master, I have to say, has been the answer to this dream of mine. No more sterilizing vats or trying to track down hops and malted barley, you just need to get the equipment set up, add the 100% natural beer mixture and in just over a week or so you get 17 pints of beer you made yourself.

The Brew Master comes with a bottling transfer system that lets you siphon off the beer into bottles, a de-foamer system and its own carbonation unit along with 3 carbon dioxide chargers. It also boasts pressure relief valve, spare taps, temperature and pressure valves and, perhaps most importantly, brewing instructions!

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