Idiots Who Stand In Doorways And Other Social Pariah

Posted: December 15, 2010 in complaints

When I lived in London I used to get really wound up by two things, people who would stop immediately upon getting off the escalator and people who would stop suddenly in the middle of the path for no discernible reason. Some Scot actually slapped me once when I crashed into her when, after having stood all the way down on the left of the escalator she just stood there. At about 5.30 on a weekday afternoon as I was coming home.

But I digressed before I even began telling you about what people do in Brighton that’s even more gear grindingly, irritatingly, moronically stupid. It’s the idiots who stand in doorways.

Perhaps they do it all over these days but I’ve only really noticed it around Brighton in the past year or two. It doesn’t matter if it’s some-one leaving a shop counting their change, they can’t decide whether to go left or right so they stop dead or if they’re Spanish or Japanese holiday makers in the summer, maybe they’re commuters standing in the door of a train all the way from Brighton to Worthing tutting and complaining because all these people want to get past at every stop.

Just Minding Her Own Business…

My favourite is the one that has a large and heavy case which, for security, they keep between their feet; in an entrance-way; on a commuter train. And they have the gall to suggest that Britain’s dumbing down! They haven’t seen the start of it! I’m amazed we’ve even got enough collective consciousness left to tie our own shoe laces. Today I had to get my bike on the train past some klutz in a red coat who’d found such a prime location, right in the middle of a narrow doorway that she had got in the way of a woman with a pushchair and a guy with a bike getting off and me getting on. Why?! How could she not see how awkward and in the way she was? Was the constant bumping and jostling and people looking her in the face and tutting and sighing and saying “excuse me” or “d’uh!” not enough to tell her “GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!”?

I suppose if it was pelting down with rain that it might be understandable if people were sheltering in shop doorways but these people seem to do it as a social activity, meeting up with their friends in order to swell their own execrable ranks. How can they seem genuinely put out when you ask them to move? With all the tutting and sighing and rolling of eyes it’s as if they’re doing you a favour. Yeah, thanks for that! Owe you one mate, a big one. It’s enough to send a semi-comatose narcoleptic into conniptions so how on earth your friendly neighbourhood fuming misanthrope is supposed to cope I just don’t know!

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